I was intrigued by the verbal judo assignment to identify what makes me angry and to give it a name, know it and own it. Others that know me may think differently but I think it takes a lot to get me angry. It takes more than someone cutting me off on the freeway or a cranky co-worker to impact my day and my emotions.
It was harder than I thought to identify what made me angry and even harder than I thought to practice Mushin once I had identified it. At first I called my anger guard Mr/Mrs Last Straw thinking that the times I recall getting angry was just the last aggravating thing in a series of things in a given time frame that pushed my button. But over the last week I kept thinking of some of the Last Straw incidents that occurred over the last year. I tried to identify the root cause of what really upset me and I came to realize that it wasn’t the last random act of a series of events that angered me but the feeling of people showing me or my family disrepect. It just so happens that what I perceived/felt to be disrespectful acts over the last year came from family members and close friends. Showing respect, and similarly disrespect, is different for everyone. I realize everyone has their subjective boundries of when they feel someone is being disrespectful. My quickness to become angry when I have perceived someone to have disrespected me or my family verbally or through their actions is an area where I let my emotions get the best of me. Just the thought of recalling these instances for this assignment started to get me angry again; which made me realize that having a Mushin mindset is more difficult than it sounds and how important it is to practice it.
Comments
When I first started the Verbal Judo training, I too didn’t think I would have any issues controlling anger and responding correctly. But once I was made aware, I realized what my true hot buttons were–that deeper causes were at play that I was once unaware of.
It’s a great feeling to be free of that negative self-talk. I used to refrain from showing my anger, and instead angry words and thoughts would race in my head. I thought that was the answer. Since practicing Verbal Judo, I am much more adept at identifying those feelings right away, taking ownership of them, and letting them go.